Bump up that Rump

17 Aug

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By MaryJo Kosisher-Demski
Cupid Intimates

Fashion is, indeed, a fickle beast.

For most of the past several centuries, women have squirmed and twisted their way into full-length corsets, girdles, control-top pantyhose, and any other garments that promised to slim ample hips and backsides.  When those slenderizing promises didn’t exactly come to fruition, most pear-shaped ladies concealed their abundant assets beneath long and shapeless skirts, fervently hoping that no eyes strayed south-of-the-border to Nature’s plenty.

Have I got a newsflash for these bounteous babes!  It’s now trendier than ever to sport a big ol’ cutie patootie, thanks to the public’s endless fascination with current pop-culture celebrities such as Kim Kardashian, Jennifer Lopez, and Beyoncé (who, as a member of Destiny’s Child, recorded “Bootylicious,” a hit song celebrating womanly curves).  While those who are genetically endowed may have reason to revel in their big-booty blessing, and ditch the voluminous clothes that can hide it, what about those girls who’ve been forgotten by the Derriere Fairy?  Or those ladies who are valiantly fighting Father Time and the pull of gravity?

Flat-bottomed girls can always opt to undergo buttock augmentation, an expensive and risky surgical procedure in which implants are inserted into the southern hemisphere.  This procedure can cost between $8,000 and $18,000 and, as with any other type of cosmetic surgery, carries with it the risks of infection, bleeding, blood clotting, and implant shifting.  In 2009, for example, diehard fans were shocked to learn that former Miss Argentina, Solange Magnano, died from complications resulting from this type of procedure.

Sure, hitting the gym could also be an option.  But, in the event that faithfully doing 100 squats, lunges, and dead lifts each day doesn’t bulk up your backside in a way that J-Lo herself might envy, there’s still hope to rid yourself of that pancake-flat posterior.  To paraphrase a certain canine cartoon crime fighter, “There’s no reason for fear.  Intimate apparel’s here!”

The newest sensation to hit lingerie departments are intimates that focus on enhancing the tush.  These types of garments fall into one of two groups.  The first group consists of panties and shapers that come fully equipped with padded inserts to round out the backside.  Some people may scoff at the thought of padded briefs.  But how different are they from padded bras?  Both types of garments add visually to areas that were neglected by Mother Nature.  Even a woman with a (naturally) well-rounded rear end may see such panties and shapers as compliments to particular dresses, or pairs of jeans, that might otherwise flatten her appearance.  The second group consists of shapers specifically designed to lift and shape the bottom.  These are available in a variety of silhouettes including boy shorts, thigh slimmers, pantliners, and bodybriefers.

From those ladies craving fuller looks for special occasions, to those women desirous of more curvaceous booties for everyday wear; from those gals who suffer sagging due to the effects of gravity, to those individuals longing for more feminine figures, one thing is certain.   Thanks to padded and rear-lifting panties and shapers, a derriere extraordinaire is well within reach (so to speak).  Bottoms up!

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CC Image courtesy of MJTR (´???) on Flickr http://www.flickr.com/photos/mujitra/ / CC BY 2.0
CC Image courtesy of Joe Shlabotnik on Flickr http://www.flickr.com/photos/joeshlabotnik// CC BY 2.0
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