There Once Was a Shaper from Dublin. . .

Email

17 Mar

Be Sociable, Share!

By Marcy Montgomery Jones & Adam Welsch
Naomi & Nicole®

Today’s St. Patrick’s Day.  It’s the day on which everyone loves to embrace all things Irish.  Leprechauns, shamrocks, and the color green will be seen everywhere.  Since we’re bloggers, we’d like to contribute to the Irish spirit with several attempts at some light-hearted poetry that takes its name from Ireland’s third largest city – Limerick.  Though these can be written a bit on the racy side, we’ll do our best to keep our limericks about intimates cute, but clean.

Here goes:

 

There once was a lass named Lysette,
Whose workout schedule was always preset.
But then came the hubby,
And in came the tubby,
And now she loves her torsette.

 

For those who have middles a bit grand,
Stay on alert above the waist band.
To avoid muffin top,
Hi-waist briefs those will stop,
You’ll have the smoothest new shape in the land.

 

There once was a little green turtle,
Who on the racetrack never could hurdle.
So she turned to her books,
But with care for her looks,
Started wearing a firm control girdle.

 

There once was a lady with wedgies,
Whose discomfort made her quite edgy.
So she ordered by phone,
Panties with silicone,
And now comfortably eats all her veggies.

 

There once lived an English professor,
Whose boredom made him an aggressor.
He bought a panty and bra,
Felt at peace and in awe,
Then lived happily as a crossdresser.

 

He tried not to stare straight at it,
A uniboob just wasn’t a hit.
Since he couldn’t see both,
“Never date!” was his oath,
Too bad, it was due to bra fit.

 

Old Aunt Mabel was in a quite a slump,
She missed her youthful round rump.
First consumed by her grief,
Then she padded her brief,
Until, happily, she made her old bump.

 

After “BINGO” was called at the last,
I missed the chance to be equally fast.
The flab in my arm,
Brought success fatal harm,
With arm shapers the test I’d have passed.

 

So, what do you think?  We’d love to read your own limericks about bras, panties, or shapewear.  Send them in as comments below.  And, as befitting a blog about intimates on St. Patrick’s Day, we’d like to proclaim, “Erin Go Bra!”

With what do you most associate St. Patrick’s Day?

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...
CC Image courtesy jonmatthew photography on flickr http://www.flickr.com/photos/paperbydesign// CC BY 2.0
CC Image courtesy nimdok on flickr http://www.flickr.com/photos/nimdok// CC BY 2.0

No comments yet

Leave a Reply