By Monica S. Meyer
Have you ever thought to yourself: “If society can create cell phones, the internet, and space travel, why can’t it come up with solutions to the age-old, twin panty problems of wedgies and VPLs?”
Like all women, I had experienced these problems since I was a little girl. My mother used to love to tell a story that haunts me to this day. When I was five, while performing in a dance recital, the movement of my routine gave me a wedgie. Since I was only five, despite dancing in the front row, I immediately stopped and did what seemed logical at the time – I “corrected” my wedgie. My mother was quite embarrassed; of course, she later had no problem retelling this story to many people, including several of my boyfriends.
Wedgies and VPLs followed me throughout my school years. I was an active athlete. I ran track, played softball and basketball, and even swam. Of course, each of these sports required constant stretching, squatting, and jumping – movement of every kind. So while one would think that opposing teams were my greatest adversaries, the truth was that my panties were. As a teenager, and not a five-year-old, trying to get my panties discretely back in their proper place seemed like my greatest competitive challenge.
Later, I became a mother, and my two daughters, Meagan and Morgan, experienced the same problems. They weren’t only athletes, but passionate dancers as well. They performed tap, ballet, jazz, and even hip-hop. They were always leaping, turning, and shuffling from side to side. They often approached me at games and recitals to complain about how their panties moved, and how they hated the resulting wedgies and VPLs. I could understand their frustration but couldn’t offer them any help. All I could do was think to myself about how the cycle never ended.
It turned out that my daughters didn’t have to continue to endure these problems. Amazingly, I found a panty that solved them. Made with silicone on the edges of its leg openings, it not only didn’t ride up, but didn’t show through pants either. And because its silicone was applied in separately-spaced rows, it was cool and comfy. I gave pairs to my daughters to see what they thought.
The next day, Meagan called me while I was at work. As a dance instructor, she had decided to wear the panties to her job. Instead of telling me about how her panties rode up, she expressed her joy that for 2 ½ hours she never had to “make any adjustments.” She also loved not being able to see a panty line, despite wearing spandex dancing pants!
That same day, Morgan wore her pair to her danceline practice. She told me that putting silicone on the edge of the panties was the best idea she had seen in a long time. She was so excited that she told all her friends on the squad; as a result, they all wanted pairs too. It sounds crazy that teenagers would get so excited about panties. But they had just discovered a solution to those problems that had plagued so many girls and women before them.
Imagine that – no more wedgies or VPLs. Other than chocolate, it just doesn’t get any better than that for most women. Too bad no one’s yet figured out how to make high heels that are comfortable to wear. Maybe that’ll be the next great fashion innovation to appear over the horizon. It’s probably many years away though. Perhaps my daughters’ daughters will witness their arrival.http://www.flickr.com/photos/dullhunk/ / CC BY 2.0 CC Image courtesy of Funkdooby on Flickr http://www.flickr.com/photos/7802947@N02/ / CC BY 2.0